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For better or worse

A friend told me last week “there will always be someone who dissapoints you” 

My life changed so much this past 6 months, I’m not the person I used to be, I’m so much stronger, much more ambitious, my life got destroyed and I picked up all of the pieces, made myself better, grounded, happy.

I’m so excited over my future, even if its scary. I love my job, I love my friends, I love everything I’m doing and still my mind drifts off.

I feel sick to my stomach that I still think of her, I hate myself everytime I come back to those thoughts….

It wasnt anything, she didnt care, I suffered and yet here I am, not even hoping, I just have a whole in my chest, wondering if it will ever be filled, if I’ll ever feel that rush through my veins, that love that makes me cry with joy.

I don’t feel numb, I don’t feel angry, I just lack human passion

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